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Unless she was completely mistaken about her desires, she's not going to suddenly miss you so much that she changes her mind about being single. She's very likely to not know that herself, in fact. And then there's the actual waiting - you don't know how long you have to wait for her, either. It's not as easy as it sounds, of course. In other words, if she has no actual complaints about you or the relationship, there's nothing to say that you can't just continue your relationship after she has fulfilled her desire to be single. She wants to be single right now, not forever. Unless your ex has no interest in ever pursuing a relationship in the future, her desire to be single almost certainly has a deadline.

It's not that grim of a situation if we look closer, though. but at face value, it doesn't matter, since your desires are completely incompatible. Her exact reasons for wanting to be single can vary - maybe she wants to focus on career/education, maybe she thinks it's too soon to be in a committed relationship, maybe she just hasn't been single in a long time, etc. You want to be in a relationship, and she wants to be single. But I think that's what also makes it one of the trickiest issues to deal with - there's usually not much you can directly influence. This is a simple one, without many layers. She may not have any complaints about you or the relationship itself. She has certain goals or desires that just can't be fulfilled while in a relationship with you. SHE CAN'T GET WHAT SHE WANTS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU Once you figure out why the breakup happened, you've only just finished the first step to recovering.ġ. You won't suddenly stop hurting and forget about her. You won't suddenly win her back by impressing her with your deductive skills. Understanding why she broke up with you isn't suddenly going to fix everything. Why would she put you through this pain if there was no reason? And there's a good chance she's hurting just as much as you, if not more. I hear the same thing from so many different clients: "Everything was fine! And then she broke up with me for no reason at all…"Īt some point in the session, I eventually bring up the fact that there is a reason for her breaking up with them.